The final night of the Democratic National Convention commenced, with lots of leftists holding signs and taking selfies, accompanied by fanfare from liberal celebrities that likely had contractual obligations from their actors’ unions to support Hillary. The last night of any national convention is special, because it means the nominee, which in this case is the robotic and soulless Hillary Clinton, gets to speak to America.
If you missed it, then I have good news for you – you still have all your brain cells left. The bad news is that liberals will be talking about it for the next week and you’ll see your news feed being filled to the brim with quotes made by a professional scam artist and pathological liar.
If you’d like to see the long, drawn out, and ultimately unsatisfying speech, it’s right here:
Grab some popcorn, let’s begin.
America is stronger because of President Obama’s leadership, and I’m better because of his friendship.
Uhh…what? Stronger in what way? Homicides have skyrocketed, we’re at constant risk of terrorist attack from within via Islamic extremism, and relations between races have never been more tense. We’re almost 20 trillion dollars in debt and our labor participation rate is the worst it’s been in 30 years. If that, in your mind, means “stronger,” then you might want to check your medicine cabinet, I think Bill’s been replacing your seizure medicine with tic-tacs again and it’s affecting your brain.
America is once again at a moment of reckoning. Powerful forces are threatening to pull us apart. Bonds of trust and respect are fraying.
Hmm…I wonder if it has anything to do with the narrative you and Obama keep pushing, making cops out to be racists, women out to be victims, and rich people as thieves? Are those the powerful forces you mean? Or do you mean Islamic terrorism, a word you still will not use in any political speech?
Well, we heard Donald Trump’s answer last week at his convention. He wants to divide us – from the rest of the world, and from each other.
In what way would he want to divide us? OH, I get it. You mean that he wants to deport illegal immigrants and build and enforce a border wall. The very same reason why you walk around in your pantsuit with armed guards 24 hours a day. It’s called security, and the country needs it just as much as your $12,000 Armani jacket.
We will not build a wall. Instead, we will build an economy where everyone who wants a good paying job can get one.
THAT’S WHAT THE WALL IS FOR, YOU IDIOT. Illegal immigrants, other than bringing crime and burden, are undercutting low wage workers, and it makes a sizable chunk of the American population unemployable. You can’t build an economy when 15 million illegals are working under the table while Americans that have to deal with doing everything above board and can’t get ahead because of it.
And we’ll build a path to citizenship for millions of immigrants who are already contributing to our economy!
And spit on every immigrant who came to this country the right way! Why would ANYONE do it properly if you could just overstay your welcome and then have a pathway to vote? OH, I get it – it’s because those illegals will get voting rights and will vote Democrat because they’re used to the government providing for them. Let’s give that a name – how about the “Taco Bowl Initiative?”
Too many people haven’t had a pay raise since the crash.
That’s because they’re unemployed. You can thank your “Hope and Change” buddy for arranging that.
We have the most tolerant and generous young people we’ve ever had.
Sure, unless you’re a Republican, right? Is that what you meant to say? That tolerance only goes one way with you?
Americans don’t say: “I alone can fix it.” We say: “We’ll fix it together.”
No, they don’t. Americans say “If I need something fixed, I won’t ask the government.” That’s exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they outlined the Bill Of Rights. They didn’t mean for governments to solve their problems, it was a means of giving the risk and reward to the individual. I know you’d love a communist state, but that’s NOT America.
a country where the economy works for everyone, not just those at the top. Where you can get a good job and send your kids to a good school, no matter what zip code you live in.
The economy DOES work for everyone, right now. Companies don’t steal money from customers, they have to provide an actual service or product. Innovation and demand doesn’t come from government, and it doesn’t come from the feel-good nonsense you’ve been spouting for the last year. In any case, I thought you said Barack Obama made the economy better, now it’s only for the rich? What gives?
The truth is, through all these years of public service, the “service” part has always come easier to me than the “public” part.
I think the “service” part came easier to Bill as well, if you know what I mean.
Tonight, we’ve reached a milestone in our nation’s march toward a more perfect union: the first time that a major party has nominated a woman for President.
Congratulations to Jill Stein.
So let’s keep going, until every one of the 161 million women and girls across America has the opportunity she deserves.
Deserves? We have female Supreme Court Justices, Senators, Attorney Generals, Secretaries of State, and military personnel, all the way down. What exactly is the barrier for women in politics? Because Sarah Palin and Carly Fiorina sure didn’t have a problem entering the ring and they held their own. What exactly is keeping women from the “opportunity they deserve?” Is it…nothing?
Now, I don’t think President Obama and Vice President Biden get the credit they deserve for saving us from the worst economic crisis of our lifetimes. Our economy is so much stronger than when they took office.
Repeat after me: Twenty. TRILLION. Dollars. In Debt. What. The. F**K. If that deserves praise, then we should parade around serial killers in the streets as heroes, because it’s clearly opposite day.
Some of you are frustrated – even furious. And you know what??? You’re right. It’s not yet working the way it should.
Maybe if you didn’t give illegal immigrants a free pass to roam our country and steal jobs from hardworking Americans trying to get into the workforce, families wouldn’t feel that way.
My primary mission as President will be to create more opportunity and more good jobs with rising wages right here in the United States… From my first day in office to my last! Especially in places that for too long have been left out and left behind.
And everyone gets a pony that farts rainbows, right? There is no feasible way to do this when you undercut the competition by injecting millions of illegals into the country and make legal wages way too high for entry-level workers. It’s simple math – oh wait, you’re a liberal, facts are scary.
That’s why we need to appoint Supreme Court justices who will get money out of politics and expand voting rights, not restrict them. And we’ll pass a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United!
Listen, you can think I’m stupid, just don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. You are the poster child for money in politics. Your Super PACs have outspent Donald Trump 10 times over and you’re still getting your butt kicked in every national poll. I wager that if Citizens United was overturned, you wouldn’t have a pot to piss in and you’d be begging old man Sanders for money.
I believe American corporations that have gotten so much from our country should be just as patriotic in return. Many of them are. But too many aren’t. It’s wrong to take tax breaks with one hand and give out pink slips with the other.
It’s wrong? Our business laws aren’t built on right and wrong – they’re built on legal and illegal. Tax breaks are legally available to corporations, and that’s what keeps them operating in the country. If you tax corporations more, that means that – you guessed it – jobs get cut because they have to afford the bill somehow. I understand you’re an incredibly crafty liar, but this is pushing it. My BS meter is falling off the peg.
If you believe that we should say “no” to unfair trade deals… that we should stand up to China… that we should support our steelworkers and autoworkers and homegrown manufacturers…join us.
YOU SUPPORTED THE TRANS PACIFIC PARTNERSHIP, YOU LYING SHREW!
And yes, if you believe that your working mother, wife, sister, or daughter deserves equal pay… join us…
Women already get paid equally to men. It is already illegal to discriminate by sex in a workplace. You and the Obama Administration know this, since you have economists on staff, but you trot out this tired nugget of an argument to get favor with misinformed feminists that have never had a job in their lives. Working women get paid the same as men when you account for for the same job and same hours and same experience. There is no discrepancy.
Now, you didn’t hear any of this from Donald Trump at his convention. He spoke for 70-odd minutes – and I do mean odd. And he offered zero solutions.
He actually gave statistics about the country, you read a story like a teacher in a nursery school.
Bernie Sanders and I will work together to make college tuition-free for the middle class and debt-free for all! We will also liberate millions of people who already have student debt.
With what, magic? This stuff all comes at a cost, you idiot. Also, why the hell would I pay for some whiner’s college degree in Lesbian Dance Therapy? Just so they can complain about hoe the system is keeping them down?
We’re going to give small businesses a boost. Make it easier to get credit.
Small businesses don’t need debt – they need to be taxed less so they keep more of the money they make. Getting them in debt only means way more risk if the business ends up failing. Wait, you’ve never run a business in your life. Of course you wouldn’t know.
Now, here’s the thing, we’re not only going to make all these investments, we’re going to pay for every single one of them. And here’s how: Wall Street, corporations, and the super-rich are going to start paying their fair share of taxes.
It sounded better in its original German. This “fair share” nonsense has got to stop. First of all, you’re in the 1 percent and you have more political power than any billionaire in Silicon Valley. You make millions off donations to your sham of a foundation, while speaking at corporate events behind closed doors. The top 1 percent already pay more than 40 percent of taxes in this country. The bottom half don’t pay anything at all. The bottom half are likely Democrats that live off of the government, but has just as much say as the top 1 percent does. Who is really getting shafted here?
He also talks a big game about putting America First. Please explain to me what part of America First leads him to make Trump ties in China, not Colorado. Trump suits in Mexico, not Michigan. Trump furniture in Turkey, not Ohio. Trump picture frames in India, not Wisconsin.
That’s called doing business. He’s said countless times that he’d like to do business here, but it’s too expensive. You want to make it harder for companies like the ones you rattled off to be American. The key is to make businesses want to work here, not regret their decision to.
From Baghdad and Kabul, to Nice and Paris and Brussels, to San Bernardino and Orlando, we’re dealing with determined enemies that must be defeated. No wonder people are anxious and looking for reassurance.
That’s a weird way to say “Islam.”
I’m proud that we put a lid on Iran’s nuclear program without firing a single shot – now we have to enforce it, and keep supporting Israel’s security.
You and Obama gave hundreds of billions of dollars to Iran, and they’re still developing nuclear weapons, while wanting Israel wiped from the face of the planet. This is the reality, not some story you’ve cooked up for your stupid sound bite. You screwed up royally.
Imagine Donald Trump in the Oval Office facing a real crisis. A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons.
A woman that is deemed by the FBI to be too unsophisticated to use an email account properly is not someone I want with the launch codes either, you dummy.
I’m not here to repeal the 2nd Amendment. I’m not here to take away your guns. I just don’t want you to be shot by someone who shouldn’t have a gun in the first place.
No, you want guns taken away because every time the subject comes up, you have no idea what you’re talking about. The “common sense” laws you’re talking about would have no discernible effect on crime, but it would disarm law-abiding citizens that could have defended themselves. We already have background checks – the people advocating for good background checks are the NRA. Contrary to what your idiotic supporters think, NO ONE wants to be shot.
You heard, you saw, family members of people killed by gun violence.
You trotted out the “Mothers of the Movement,” who are mothers of black people shot by cops or otherwise when the majority of cases were completely justified killings. I don’t care what Trayvon Martin’s mom has to say about gun control because her son was beating George Zimmerman’s head into the pavement. Michael Brown’s mom can shut up because her son was assaulting a cop and tried to take his gun. This narrative is piled on top of bodies with a foundation of lies.
Donald Trump’s not offering real change.
Yes, he is. He is not a politician and has radical ideas that will change the country one way or another. Real change comes from adopting different mindsets. You’re an establishment lackey who got caught with her pants down, trying hard to spin this in your direction. America sees it, and that’s why you’re losing.
When I tried to hide from a neighborhood bully, my mother literally blocked the door. “Go back out there,” she said. And she was right. You have to stand up to bullies.
Is that what you told the people in Benghazi before they were murdered?
Hillary, as I write this, I’m wondering whether the people voting for you in this election had some sort of severe brain trauma to take anything you say at face value. Sure, on the outside, you’re a lying politician that has colluded with your party to rig a primary election, while skirting the feds because your former President husband spoke with the Attorney General.
However, if you dig deeper, you find a weak, small-minded person that wants nothing more than to get political power at the expense of everyone else. I’d feel sorry for you if it wasn’t so apparent that you’re as close to pure evil as it comes. Everything you said in your acceptance speech was utter incomprehensible bulls**t and I can’t wait until November, when America finally washes its hands of you.